Value's Types

There are four types or categories of value. The understanding of each of these value's types will makes us easier to increase consciousness, self-control, and belief restructuring. Value is absolutely difficult to be changed. But, it can be changed if we know how.

1. Mean Value

Many people will mention money, love, success relationship and carrier as value. But, those things don't contain emotion state. Those things are just tools to experience some certain emotion state. Tools that we use to be able to produce certain emotion state are called mean value.

Many people were working and keep working to collect money as much as they can, but they never can be happy. Why? Because what they're looking for was just mean value. They didn't realize that what they want was end value, a certain emotion state which they want to experience or avoid. This ignorance makes many people get empty and not meaningful life.



2. End Value

End value is emotion that we want to experience or avoid. When someone said that having money is the important value, that's true. But, what is the final reason by having money? Are we just want to have stacks of paper which there's a picture of died person. Of course not.

If we ask more deeply, "What's the importance of having money (or other value)?", they'll answer: "safety", "freedom", or "dominance". This is what I called end value.

Same with relationship. Actually, we don't really want relationship. Relationship is just a tool to get related feeling, love feeling, or not lonely feeling - all of this is called end value.



3. Moving Toward Value

Moving toward value (MTV) is emotion state or situation which we want to experience. MTV appears in the following statement:

• I like adventure.
• I want excitement and happiness in my relationship.
• I enjoyed working with people and learning new things in my carrier.

4. Moving Away Value

Moving away value (MAV) is value which we didn't want to experience in our life. This is emotion state or condition that we will avoid by any way. MAV appears in the following statement:

• I hate a fussy boss.
• I don't want to be poor.
• I won't act like my mom.

End Value vs Mean Value

How do we know and distinguish between end value and mean value? Very easy. Use the following questions:

1. What's the most important for you about ......(e.g: car, house, job, family)?
2. Why.........is important for you?

For example, one of our friend wants to buy "Rolex" watch. We've known that watch was mean value. If it just aims to know the time, he doesn't need to buy a watch as expensive as Rolex. Other brand also can, or even it's enough just by seeing clock in our cell phone.

So, to find end value, we ask:

Ask: What's the importance of Rolex watch for you?
Answer: Because this watch can be water-resistant up to 1.000 feet or 300 meters.

Ask: Why "water-resistant up to 1.000 feet 0r 300 meters" was important for you?
Answer: Because it shows that this is a very good quality watch.

Ask: Why "a very good quality watch" was important for you?
Answer: Because stuff quality which someone use shows his self-quality.

Ask: Why "a good self-quality" was important for you?
Answer: Because a good self-quality shows someone's level in social life.

Ask: Why "someone's level in social life" was important for you?
Answer: Because by a good level in social life, we will be valued, respected, and get recognition from people.


Evidently, the matter of Rolex watch wasn't as simple as knowing time.

Rolex watch was mean value which use to get end value such as valued feeling, respected feeling, or recognized feeling.

At the next post, I will draw a diagram to explain about the connection between belief and value, and also the connection of mean value and end value.

Previous: Value as A Life Boat Compass

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Value as A Life Boat Compass

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross~

Readers, after you read this far, especially in "The Important Principle of Value" chapter, I want to share two secrets to you. These are the secrets I usually use to inspect someone's mind, the way they think, their behavior, and to predict their future. What's the secret?

#1 Secret, we can know someone's conflict just by observing his body language, if the body language was not congruent or not symmetrical, it indicates that there's conflict. Body language was more easily to observed than skin color changes or face muscle movement.

Usually, when we talk with someone who has internal conflict, they'll make move their left hand when talking about aspects of their conflict and make move their right hand when talking about its contrary aspects.

Left hand represents a part (read:value) and right hand represents the other part. If someone was really congruent with what they talking about, it indicates that their conscious mind was parallel with their subconscious mind. If there's no conflict, the body language will seems equal.

The other example is when you asked a question and they said "yes", it was the result from conscious mind, without realizing, they're shake one's head, and it was the result from subconscious mind.

#2 Secret, if we've known someone's value, we'll be able to know beliefs which support that value, then we can find rule which was derivative from belief. This rule was usually used as the bridge between inside and outside world of ourselves. In other words, if we can find someone's value, we will know who he is. He can't hide or pretend.

So, how to know someone's value?

That's easy. With some practice, we will be able to.

The way is by observing and analyzing someone's words and behaviors on their daily life.

Why just by observing someone's words and behaviors we can find their value? Because those words and behaviors come from mind. In other words, mind has two estuaries: word and behavior. Whatever we said and did, they're reflect our mind content, and inside mind - subconscious mind - , value, belief, and rule saved.

Every aspect in our life has its own value. For example are aspects of carrier or job. To find value in job aspect, I can observe someone's words or ask a question, then ask him to answer quickly, "What's the most important for you in job aspect?"

The answers can be various, for example:

• Salary calculated based on performance,
• The comfortable of work environment,
• Facilities,
• Allowance,
• The wisdom of a leader,
• Learning opportunities,
• The flexibility of working hours,
• Location,
• The clarity of promotion.

The answers below shows someone's value in job aspect. How to know the first most important value, the second, and the rest? In other words, how to know his value's hierarchy?

The way is ask him to sort sequence based on the answers which he has gave. It will shows his value's hierarchy. For example, after he sort, the answers can be:

• The wisdom of a leader,
• The flexibility of working hours,
• Location,
• The comfortable of work environment,
• Learning opportunities,
• Salary calculated based on performance,
• The clarity of promotion,
• Facilities,
• Allowance.

The sequence below shows that "The wisdom of a leader" factor was the highest value, then the second factor was "The flexibility of working hours", and so on. So, every time he wants to look for a job, he will always use this hierarchy as reference, either consciously or unconsciously.

If we ask, "Why "The wisdom of a leader" factor was important for you?", the answers we'll get can be said as beliefs which support this value.

Then if we continue again, "How do you know that this leader is wise?", the answer "A leader can be said wise if....." reflects the rule of his belief.

Already clear now?

So, value was role as compass which determines direction of our life boat. Anything we've wrote on value's compass, will be a direction of where our life boat will sail. Why we will sail to the match direction of our value? Because actually value were things that we deem important in our life. Value - in this case - was like coordinate point which entered to automatic pilot. After this coordinate has been set, boat or plane will sail or fly towards target point.

For more easiness to understand about value, I will explain about value's types at the next post. If we have known about value's types, it will makes easiness for us to observe and analyze value based on someone's handwriting and speech, or even his behavior.

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The Important Principle of Value

To recognize and understand more about value, there are eight important principles we should know and note:

1. Value is a filter that operates in subconscious that determine our focus and how we utilize times.

According to its definitions, value is what we believe as something valuable, precious, important, or significant in our life. Value lies in subconscious mind and determine our focus. Thing that we appraise valuable or precious will get priority attention from us, while things that we appraise less valuable or precious will get less attention and it's affects our time management.

For example, I feel that reading books and keep learning as valuable things for me. Learn and read are part of actualization process of myself.

Because that things are very important for me, I will spent my times to keep reading books and studying. If there's any choice between playing playstation and reading books, what do I choose? Of course I will choose reading books. For me, playing playstation is just wasting time and useless.

But, not necessarily the same as other people. There are people who don't like to read books. They prefer to play playstation. For them, playing playstation is more important, more entertaining than reading books which just makes eyes sleepy.

Who is the most correct in this case? No one is right or wrong. Remember, value is other form of belief. Each one has different personal belief and always feels right through their own belief.

2. We're use value to evaluate action.

Value stands as mental balance. Every action always be evaluated by value. There's value which encourages us to do something. Then, action we've done will be valuated by other values.

Value is also often called as conscience by people.

For concrete example. You feel togetherness or family time is important. On the other side, you feel that giving prosperous living to your family is also important too. Then one day, you have to do business presentation in out town. If your proposal accepted, you will achieve very much money. Evidently, it's the same day with your child's birthday and you've promised to attend on his birthday party. Your child crave your presence.

What will you do? Whatever your choice, it will conduce a conflict inside yourself. If you decide to do business presentation in out town, how's your feeling to your child and family? Surely, there's a guilt, isn't it? Especially when you're call him and give happy birthday greeting, your child's crying sad because you're not attend beside him to celebrate the important moment in his life.

On the contrary, if you decide to attend on your child birthday party, you won't do business presentation and you miss a big opportunity to produce much money, how's your feeling? Surely, there's deep regret because you're miss it. Besides, the obtained money will also be used for the welfare of your family.

Essentially, if you feel there's a conflict inside yourself, that's the sign of value's conflict.

3. Value is source of motivation.

Motivation is feeling of enthusiasm, interest, encouragement, or commitment to make someone wants to do something. What can make us motivated to do something? Anything that we feel as very important, valuable, valuable, or significant, will be the source of intrinsic motivation that never off.

4. Value arranged in a hierarchy.

Have you ever face a difficult condition when you have to make a choice of two things that you feel both of them are equal importance?

After considering and thinking, finally you make a decision. What do you think and how do you consider which one is the more important so that you decide to choose one of two choices?

When you're confused to decide a choice, you experienced value's conflict. What caused this value's conflict? Because your value of those two choices are equal importance.

But, at the other time, have you ever faced with two choices, but you can make a decision very quickly?

I'm sure you have. Why you can decide quickly? Because your value of those two choices occupy hierarchy that has different level.

For concrete example. Your parents got dangerous disease. You have fairy pill that can heal their disease. The problem is you're only have one fairy pill. To whom you will give this fairy pill? Your dad or mom? Can you feel how difficult it is to make decisions in a situation like this?

Why it's difficult? Because for most people, mom and dad are equal importance.

The situation would be different if evidently your dad (or mom) and your friend who are got that disease. To whom you will give the fairy pill? Of course you'll give to your dad or mom. Why it's not your friend? Because inside your hierarchy value, parents occupy higher level than your friend. In other words, parents more valuable or more precious than your friend.

5. Value can cause a self-conflict

Self-conflict -- like what I describe above -- occur because we're not clearly specify hierarchy of value.

This self-conflict will be main obstacle in achieving success of a life goal.

Many people underestimate this self-conflict. I'll explain about self-conflict separately.

6. Value can be changed

Along with the development of intellectual, mental, emotional, and spiritual, we're also experiencing growth and development of value. Something in the past which we felt important, can be not important anymore now. Also on the contrary, something in the past which we felt not important, evidently become so important now.

7. Belief follow value that we hold.

Each value is always supported by a group of belief that are in accordance with value. A few times ago, I had a dinner with my friend that a vegetarian a.k.a ciak jhai. When I was be asked, "Farlo, can you eat vegetarian foods?" "Of course I can. I'm a chiak jing jhai too" I answered. "What is chiak jing hai?" He asked me with confused face. "Ah, it's jing jhai-jing jhai chiak a.k.a omnivora a.k.a can eat anything" I answered with smile.

I know, there's should be a reason that cause my friend decide to become a vegetarian. There's should be certain value that become his motivation source. Then I look for his value.

Evidently, his value is in accordance with his dogma. In other words, the reason why he decide to become a vegetarian is avoid the occurrence of living beings murder.

What belief which underlie that value? His belief is each living beings has its own life and they have right to live. No one may take the life of living beings, whatever the reason is. The one who may take the life of living beings is the one who give them this life, he's God. God is kind and never teach us to killing other living beings. And many other beliefs which supported that value.

8. Every area of life has its own value.

We have very much value. At every aspect of life, there's a value which used as a guidance. Those aspect of life consist of spiritual, financial, wealth, social, recreation, carrier/business, self-development, and relationship.

Next: Self-Talk
Previous: Value

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Value

What is value? What's the difference with belief or rule?

Belief is something we believe as the truth through our thoughts. Rule is belief in the form of a set of rules that determine whether we've feel achieved value/important things or not.


While value is what we believe as something valuable, precious, important, or significant in our life. Value is formed from belief, which is the meaning of life experience that has loads of very strong emotion, whether it's positive or negative emotion. Changing value is much more difficult than changing belief, because actually, value is the other name of core belief.

Simply, value is something important or valuable for us. Something important or valuable is very personal and subjective for each person. Everyone has different value. Essentially, value is emotion condition which we believe as important emotion to be experienced or avoided.

There are 3 period of forming value. First period at the age of 0-7 years old. Second period at the age of 7-14 years old. Third period at the age of 14-21 years old.

It's same like forming process of belief that I've described here and here, because value is other form of belief. Each value is certainly supported by specific beliefs.

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Control Belief or Being Controlled by Belief

"After we create our beliefs (consciously or unconsciously), our beliefs will create us"

~Farlodrian~

Belief determines our reality and it works as a lens that we use to regard experiences, other people, world, ourselves, and global life. Belief underlie any decisions, choices, attitudes, actions, and our behavior.

Because of belief is affects our lives strongly, we need to really understand its mechanism or how it works. When belief was formed, the longer its effect will be more powerful, next, our life will only run what has been "written" in our belief. More terrible, belief applies as living creatures that will defend their existence in any way.

For more details on how does belief works, learn on image below.

The above diagram shows that value is the actual core. Actually, value is also belief. We will discuss about Global belief, value, rules, self-talk, and behavior in detail and separately.

Click on the title below to read in detail. I recommended you to read in sequence.

Global Belief

Rule

Value

Self-Talk

Behavior

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