Rule

While belief established, we need a set of rules as a communication bridge to connecting our belief with the world outside ourselves.

Rule also called as Threshold Belief. It is a set of rules to be able to know "do we've received a certain value?". Threshold belief or rule is also a measure for us to measure how successful we are in achieving value or goal that we want in life. Many people seem successful, but doesn't feel happy because they didn't determine the definitive standard of their success measure.

For example: financial freedom is important value for us.

Question to reveal how we can reach financial freedom is "How do we know if we have achieved financial freedom (or other value)?"

Maybe your answer is:

"I feel I have achieved financial freedom if I have income $...../month."

"I feel I have achieved financial freedom if I have income $..... in my bank account."

"I feel I have achieved financial freedom if I have a house worth $....."


What is actually measured by rule? Rule is requirement that we set so that we can feel certain emotion of a condition. Before that requirement was fulfilled, those emotion -- whether it's positive or negative -- can't be perceived or experienced.

Now, try to answer these questions below:


I feel happy if ......................................................
I feel prosperous if .............................................
I feel disappointed if ..........................................
I feel beautiful/handsome if ..............................
I feel smart if .......................................................
I feel beloved if ...................................................
I feel success if ....................................................


These are the examples of rule that I get from people around me which I've been asked:



Ms. Helen feels unhappy

One of my neighbor named Ms.Helen has ever said to me "Farlodrian, I feel that my life is unhappy. I'm frustrated and can't have fun like most of my friends."

When I heard this grievance, I knew that there's a lack of her rule about "happiness". Then I asked her, "Ms. Helen, what's the requirements to make you feel happy?"

"What do you mean?" Ms.Helen asked me.

"Please don't be confused. Try to finish this sentence," I answered while I gave the sentence she had to finish. What's the sentence?

"I feel happy if ..........................?"

What's Ms. Helen's answer?

"I feel happy if my husband is at home every night, my children are always listen of what I said, and I have a house like my sister-in-law."

Readers, from these answers we can see how difficult to be able to make her happy. Unconsciously, Ms. Helen has been set three requirements that must be fulfilled to be able to make her happy. Even if there's only one requirement that has not been fulfilled, she certainly can't feel happy.

What's the requirements?

First, her husband should be at home every night. This is the most difficult to be happen. Her husband is a sales manager who often go out town. This requirement is so difficult to be fulfilled because there are words "every night". It's impossible for her husband to be at home every night.

Second, her children are always listen of what she said. It's not too difficult to be fulfilled. It can be regulated.

Third, she have a house like her sister-in-law. It's so difficult to be fulfilled. Her sister-in-law are very rich. She have a very big house, there's a swimming pool inside, while the financial condition of Ms. Helen is much lower than her sister-in-law.

After I successfully reveal the rule that doesn't make her happy, then I offer a solution. I ask Ms. Helen to modify her rules so that the requirements can be easy to fulfilled. I offer a new rule. " I feel happy if I decide to feel happy, anytime and anywhere."



The Depression of Lukman

I've ever talking with one of my close friend named Lukman. He's feels so depression. I keep asked over and over to him to find root of his problem. Finally, I found that Lukman was experienced many disappointment in his life.

Then I look for his rule about "disappointment". What did I find?

Evidently, Lukman's rule said "I feel disappointed if people criticize my ideas or opinions."

Then I look for his rule over and over again, but with a new word "criticism". Lukman answered "I feel criticized if people didn't concur with my idea, viewpoint, and explanation."

No wonder if Lukman was experienced many disappointment. Every time he talked with someone who has different opinion with him, he felt critized. Next, this rule "critized" will activate other rule, it was "disappointment".



Irma is always feel poor

When I asked about rule "rich" to my cousin named Irma, she answered "I feel rich if I have money for about ten billion rupiahs (approximately same with $1.000.000) in my bank account."

I was quite surprised to hear her rule about it. Then I asked, "Where did you get belief that said you feel rich if you have money for about ten billion rupiahs?"

"Because I read some self-help/motivational books state that someone can be stated as rich people if he/she has property at least ten bilion rupiahs," Irma answered.

what the consequences of this rule?

During she could not collect the money for about ten billion rupiahs, he will always feel not rich a.k.a poor. It will harm herself.

Why it can harm herself?

Rich was started from our own mindset. As long as she feels she's poor, she will be poor.

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