Belief as Personal Constitutionality

Other way to understand belief and its implications is describing belief as personal constitutionality. A country run by following the certain rules. For what rules are made? For togetherness that we can live comfortable, secure, peaceful, and happier in the corridor that has been agreed. What would happen if we violate the rules? Surely, there are consequences. There are sanctions or penalties.

Our belief, especially core belief or value has a role as constitutionality. We live through the corridor which agreed by our constitutionality.

From one belief, it can be "developed" into a lot of rule that will affect someone's behavior. I'll give two examples of cases so that you can understand what I mean.

Let's take a notice to someone named Jaka who has belief (personal constitutionality) that said "I'm not precious and weak". Then, this personal constitutionality translated into various rules which becomes guide to set behavior strategies that aims to protect himself.

Feeling of not precious and weak reflects bad self-concept. Self-concept is belief about ourselves. Self-concept is belief which become our base of life because it forms images of self-image, weakness and strength, proficiency, feeling precious, and how do we interact to world inside and outside us.

Self-concept is our identity and it consist of three associated components: self-ideal, self-image, and self-esteem. Self-concept determines our feelings to ourselves, emotions of our lives Self-concept affects all aspects of our lives like: who we're choose to be our couple of lives, our jobs, level of achievement of lives. Self-concept determines what we expect from life, in the form of satisfaction of material, spiritual, emotion, social, relation, physical health, and etc.

Back to Jaka. His belief said that he's not precious and weak. This belief makes Jaka afraid of denial. To be "safe" and "secure", this belief develops these strategies to face denial:

1. Don't let other people know you too close.
2. Always looks dapper.
3. Avoid when there's a conflict.
4. Make everyone happy, if you're not, they will deny you.
5. You must be really competent in doing something, if you're not, people will deny you.
6. There's no one who wants to hear your story. Don't share your feelings with anyone. Don't let other people know you've ever be hurt.
7. Don't ask something. There's no one who wants to give you something.
8. Take care of yourself. No one care about you.

You can see, Jaka's belief produces/creates his own rules, which becomes his compass psychology, which gives direction how he should act, behave, and interact with other people.

Each of these rules is an adaptive strategy so that he can be "safe" and "secure". He's afraid to face denial when he interact with someone because he knows that he's not precious.

Hence, in order to make Jaka feels "secure" as "not precious" human, he must protects himself. Jaka uses those rules as shield of psychology to protect himself from denial.

How's the level of achievement of Jaka's life?

By this belief, can Jaka become a success person? How's his achievement in financial, relation, communication, business, mental, emotion, and spiritual?

As the existence of feeling not precious, he'll work hard to reach honorable position. He'll trying hard to get expensive clothes, jewelry, elegant way to talk, stability of handshake with other people, warm smile, or anything that makes other people impressed and appreciate him.

He's believe that anyone who knows him close, finally will know his real personality: weak, not precious, empty, full of fear, and powerless. Because of this "feeling not precious", Jaka will try to cover it by becoming another person. He feels difficult to close to someone. He feels that he's rightly feels loneliness. He think that no one would really love himself.

A person who have low self-esteem will scorn himself. In other words, he feels that his self-image is bad. Next, this self-image becomes base of almost all of important decision that we decide in our lives. Our self-image determines the range of views, and also determines things that we fear or avoid. If our self-image full of disability and negative things, we will feel that we don't deserve to be honored. If our self-image full of ability, positive and interested things, self-confidence, the world will look so beautiful and generous, dreams becomes easily achievable.

Now, let's take a look to another case which explain the relation between belief and rule. I have a friend named Donna who has belief said "I'm incompetent".

This belief develops these strategies that aims to protect herself from "incompetent":

1. Don't make decisions openly.
2. Don't ever chase your dream openly because you won't be able to get it.
3. Don't dream too big, because if you're failed to reach them, you can be hurt.
4. You must realize that you won't get couple of life that you're expected. So, if there's someone loves you, whoever he is, don't waste this opportunity.
5. Don't try some new things, You'll be failed and ashamed because you can't do it.
6. You better not do something because you're often failed.

Let's see, Donna's rules makes a principle that she doesn't want to take risk. These rules makes Donna become incompetent. Because of Donna expect failure and also makes wrong decision, her rules makes adaptive strategies so that Donna doesn't changes anything and defends her status quo.

One more example. A girl, just called her Hani, has beliefs about "feeling unsafe and incompetent". Hani regards herself as a weak person and easily injured. She feels that she can't face something different, whether it's feelings to her own body or challenges which she faced in her life. She regards life as dangerous thing. Combination of feeling unsafe and incompetent makes Hani strengthens the following rules:

1. Don't go to unknown places. You'll be panic.
2. Don't let other people assist you. They'll ask for rewards.
3. Don't do aerobic. Because your heart will rattle fast, and it feels strange and frightening.
   
4. Don't go by plane. Because you'll feel fears of falling and height.
5. Don't go to mall. That place is crowded and full of strange people.
6. You better buy a new car because it's rarely damaged than keep driving your old car that broke down easily.

These rules has its high value. If someone violate his rules, he'll feels that he'll get disaster, feels guilty or sin. There will be some sore feelings inside his heart.

We all know that if we jump from tenth floor of a building, we'll fall down and our body will be broken. Likewise rules. If someone violate rules which set by belief, he will feels down.

Will we really be wrecked if we violate our rules? Of course not. As the one who make that rules, we reserve the right to change the rules that are not conducive. But, many people is too love their rules so they're afraid to change or violate those rules. They identify their-self by their rules.

Next: Value as A Life Boat Compass
Previous: Behavior

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