Value as A Life Boat Compass

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross~

Readers, after you read this far, especially in "The Important Principle of Value" chapter, I want to share two secrets to you. These are the secrets I usually use to inspect someone's mind, the way they think, their behavior, and to predict their future. What's the secret?

#1 Secret, we can know someone's conflict just by observing his body language, if the body language was not congruent or not symmetrical, it indicates that there's conflict. Body language was more easily to observed than skin color changes or face muscle movement.

Usually, when we talk with someone who has internal conflict, they'll make move their left hand when talking about aspects of their conflict and make move their right hand when talking about its contrary aspects.

Left hand represents a part (read:value) and right hand represents the other part. If someone was really congruent with what they talking about, it indicates that their conscious mind was parallel with their subconscious mind. If there's no conflict, the body language will seems equal.

The other example is when you asked a question and they said "yes", it was the result from conscious mind, without realizing, they're shake one's head, and it was the result from subconscious mind.

#2 Secret, if we've known someone's value, we'll be able to know beliefs which support that value, then we can find rule which was derivative from belief. This rule was usually used as the bridge between inside and outside world of ourselves. In other words, if we can find someone's value, we will know who he is. He can't hide or pretend.

So, how to know someone's value?

That's easy. With some practice, we will be able to.

The way is by observing and analyzing someone's words and behaviors on their daily life.

Why just by observing someone's words and behaviors we can find their value? Because those words and behaviors come from mind. In other words, mind has two estuaries: word and behavior. Whatever we said and did, they're reflect our mind content, and inside mind - subconscious mind - , value, belief, and rule saved.

Every aspect in our life has its own value. For example are aspects of carrier or job. To find value in job aspect, I can observe someone's words or ask a question, then ask him to answer quickly, "What's the most important for you in job aspect?"

The answers can be various, for example:

Salary calculated based on performance,
The comfortable of work environment,
Facilities,
Allowance,
The wisdom of a leader,
Learning opportunities,
The flexibility of working hours,
Location,
The clarity of promotion.

The answers below shows someone's value in job aspect. How to know the first most important value, the second, and the rest? In other words, how to know his value's hierarchy?

The way is ask him to sort sequence based on the answers which he has gave. It will shows his value's hierarchy. For example, after he sort, the answers can be:

The wisdom of a leader,
The flexibility of working hours,
Location,
The comfortable of work environment,
Learning opportunities,
Salary calculated based on performance,
The clarity of promotion,
Facilities,
Allowance.

The sequence below shows that "The wisdom of a leader" factor was the highest value, then the second factor was "The flexibility of working hours", and so on. So, every time he wants to look for a job, he will always use this hierarchy as reference, either consciously or unconsciously.

If we ask, "Why "The wisdom of a leader" factor was important for you?", the answers we'll get can be said as beliefs which support this value.

Then if we continue again, "How do you know that this leader is wise?", the answer "A leader can be said wise if....." reflects the rule of his belief.

Already clear now?

So, value was role as compass which determines direction of our life boat. Anything we've wrote on value's compass, will be a direction of where our life boat will sail. Why we will sail to the match direction of our value? Because actually value were things that we deem important in our life. Value - in this case - was like coordinate point which entered to automatic pilot. After this coordinate has been set, boat or plane will sail or fly towards target point.

For more easiness to understand about value, I will explain about value's types at the next post. If we have known about value's types, it will makes easiness for us to observe and analyze value based on someone's handwriting and speech, or even his behavior.

Next: Value's Types
Previous: Belief as Personal Constitutionality