Value's Types

There are four types or categories of value. The understanding of each of these value's types will makes us easier to increase consciousness, self-control, and belief restructuring. Value is absolutely difficult to be changed. But, it can be changed if we know how.

1. Mean Value

Many people will mention money, love, success relationship and carrier as value. But, those things don't contain emotion state. Those things are just tools to experience some certain emotion state. Tools that we use to be able to produce certain emotion state are called mean value.

Many people were working and keep working to collect money as much as they can, but they never can be happy. Why? Because what they're looking for was just mean value. They didn't realize that what they want was end value, a certain emotion state which they want to experience or avoid. This ignorance makes many people get empty and not meaningful life.



2. End Value

End value is emotion that we want to experience or avoid. When someone said that having money is the important value, that's true. But, what is the final reason by having money? Are we just want to have stacks of paper which there's a picture of died person. Of course not.

If we ask more deeply, "What's the importance of having money (or other value)?", they'll answer: "safety", "freedom", or "dominance". This is what I called end value.

Same with relationship. Actually, we don't really want relationship. Relationship is just a tool to get related feeling, love feeling, or not lonely feeling - all of this is called end value.



3. Moving Toward Value

Moving toward value (MTV) is emotion state or situation which we want to experience. MTV appears in the following statement:

• I like adventure.
• I want excitement and happiness in my relationship.
• I enjoyed working with people and learning new things in my carrier.

4. Moving Away Value

Moving away value (MAV) is value which we didn't want to experience in our life. This is emotion state or condition that we will avoid by any way. MAV appears in the following statement:

• I hate a fussy boss.
• I don't want to be poor.
• I won't act like my mom.

End Value vs Mean Value

How do we know and distinguish between end value and mean value? Very easy. Use the following questions:

1. What's the most important for you about ......(e.g: car, house, job, family)?
2. Why.........is important for you?

For example, one of our friend wants to buy "Rolex" watch. We've known that watch was mean value. If it just aims to know the time, he doesn't need to buy a watch as expensive as Rolex. Other brand also can, or even it's enough just by seeing clock in our cell phone.

So, to find end value, we ask:

Ask: What's the importance of Rolex watch for you?
Answer: Because this watch can be water-resistant up to 1.000 feet or 300 meters.

Ask: Why "water-resistant up to 1.000 feet 0r 300 meters" was important for you?
Answer: Because it shows that this is a very good quality watch.

Ask: Why "a very good quality watch" was important for you?
Answer: Because stuff quality which someone use shows his self-quality.

Ask: Why "a good self-quality" was important for you?
Answer: Because a good self-quality shows someone's level in social life.

Ask: Why "someone's level in social life" was important for you?
Answer: Because by a good level in social life, we will be valued, respected, and get recognition from people.


Evidently, the matter of Rolex watch wasn't as simple as knowing time.

Rolex watch was mean value which use to get end value such as valued feeling, respected feeling, or recognized feeling.

At the next post, I will draw a diagram to explain about the connection between belief and value, and also the connection of mean value and end value.

Previous: Value as A Life Boat Compass

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Value as A Life Boat Compass

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross~

Readers, after you read this far, especially in "The Important Principle of Value" chapter, I want to share two secrets to you. These are the secrets I usually use to inspect someone's mind, the way they think, their behavior, and to predict their future. What's the secret?

#1 Secret, we can know someone's conflict just by observing his body language, if the body language was not congruent or not symmetrical, it indicates that there's conflict. Body language was more easily to observed than skin color changes or face muscle movement.

Usually, when we talk with someone who has internal conflict, they'll make move their left hand when talking about aspects of their conflict and make move their right hand when talking about its contrary aspects.

Left hand represents a part (read:value) and right hand represents the other part. If someone was really congruent with what they talking about, it indicates that their conscious mind was parallel with their subconscious mind. If there's no conflict, the body language will seems equal.

The other example is when you asked a question and they said "yes", it was the result from conscious mind, without realizing, they're shake one's head, and it was the result from subconscious mind.

#2 Secret, if we've known someone's value, we'll be able to know beliefs which support that value, then we can find rule which was derivative from belief. This rule was usually used as the bridge between inside and outside world of ourselves. In other words, if we can find someone's value, we will know who he is. He can't hide or pretend.

So, how to know someone's value?

That's easy. With some practice, we will be able to.

The way is by observing and analyzing someone's words and behaviors on their daily life.

Why just by observing someone's words and behaviors we can find their value? Because those words and behaviors come from mind. In other words, mind has two estuaries: word and behavior. Whatever we said and did, they're reflect our mind content, and inside mind - subconscious mind - , value, belief, and rule saved.

Every aspect in our life has its own value. For example are aspects of carrier or job. To find value in job aspect, I can observe someone's words or ask a question, then ask him to answer quickly, "What's the most important for you in job aspect?"

The answers can be various, for example:

• Salary calculated based on performance,
• The comfortable of work environment,
• Facilities,
• Allowance,
• The wisdom of a leader,
• Learning opportunities,
• The flexibility of working hours,
• Location,
• The clarity of promotion.

The answers below shows someone's value in job aspect. How to know the first most important value, the second, and the rest? In other words, how to know his value's hierarchy?

The way is ask him to sort sequence based on the answers which he has gave. It will shows his value's hierarchy. For example, after he sort, the answers can be:

• The wisdom of a leader,
• The flexibility of working hours,
• Location,
• The comfortable of work environment,
• Learning opportunities,
• Salary calculated based on performance,
• The clarity of promotion,
• Facilities,
• Allowance.

The sequence below shows that "The wisdom of a leader" factor was the highest value, then the second factor was "The flexibility of working hours", and so on. So, every time he wants to look for a job, he will always use this hierarchy as reference, either consciously or unconsciously.

If we ask, "Why "The wisdom of a leader" factor was important for you?", the answers we'll get can be said as beliefs which support this value.

Then if we continue again, "How do you know that this leader is wise?", the answer "A leader can be said wise if....." reflects the rule of his belief.

Already clear now?

So, value was role as compass which determines direction of our life boat. Anything we've wrote on value's compass, will be a direction of where our life boat will sail. Why we will sail to the match direction of our value? Because actually value were things that we deem important in our life. Value - in this case - was like coordinate point which entered to automatic pilot. After this coordinate has been set, boat or plane will sail or fly towards target point.

For more easiness to understand about value, I will explain about value's types at the next post. If we have known about value's types, it will makes easiness for us to observe and analyze value based on someone's handwriting and speech, or even his behavior.

Next: Value's Types
Previous: Belief as Personal Constitutionality

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When The Love Shows Its Power

As the story goes, a young beautiful woman was just married a man she loved so much. After the marriage, she lived together with her mother-in-law. Evidently, there were so many clash behaviors and views between the two ladies inside the house. The mother-in-law was always trying to find flaws in everything her daughter-in-law did. Sharp criticisms and grouses were always flux from her. Almost everyday, debate took place. Regrettably, the husband couldn't do much to changes into a better situation.

The daughter-in-law couldn't hold anymore. Her feeling was so hurt and full of hate. Then she decided to revenge. She went to find his father's best friend who was a medicine seller. In tears, she told all about her pain and sadness. "I want to ask your help in this case uncle, please give me a powerful poison powder so that I can have my revenge towards my mother-in-law." After thinking a moment, the uncle nod his head then answered, "I will give you a poison powder, but you have to fulfill the term I ask". The woman agreed.

Then the uncle gave her a pocket of powder. "Dear, to revenge towards your mother-in-law, I wouldn't use a quick reactive poison. Because, people around you will suspect her sudden death, and you can be appointed as a defendant because you have many clash with her. That's why I'm giving you a slow reactive poison but sure. Put a little bit of it into your mother-in-law's meals. Don't forget to cook the meal yourself". To prevent that people won't suspect on you later on, you must treat your mother-in-law better in days to come, by doing so people won't ask any questions about her death. Treat her with love and respect as if she were your own mother, and show your big heart by not arguing, just giving in to her". The uncle said.

The woman went home in relieved and happy feelings, then did whatever the uncle said. Everyday, she spoilt her mother-in-law by cooking all her favorite dishes and served her with all respect and compassion. Without realizing, four months had passed, and a big change happen. Because of being treated with such respect and affection, the mother-in-law was touched and changed her behavior towards her. Things turned around, she started to treat her daughter-in-law as her own one and loved her more and more everyday. In the presence of her friends, she complimented and spoke highly of her daughter-in-law's nobility and compassion.

Realizing the changes in her mother-in-law's, suddenly the daughter rushed to see the uncle. "Please uncle, give me the antidote to the poison that you gave me sometime ago. After doing what you told me, now my mother-in-law has treated me so well and full of love. I also start loving her. I don't want her die from the poison that I gave her everyday."

The uncle smiled and answered, "Don't worry. The powder that I gave you was not poison at all. It actually was tonic to enhance body strength instead." She was dumb founded. "So the real poison actually is what dwells in your head, your attitudes towards your mother-in-law. And now all of those poisons have been wiped away by love and affection that you've showed her."

The story above has taught us of how incredible the power of love or the power of affection and tender loving care, sincerity, and willingness to sacrifice for the greater good. Love and affection can release us from the strong grip of misunderstanding, bring down the wall of coldness, soften the stubbornness and mellow down hatreds. Love and affection invite peace and bring differences into a good harmony. If all of us are willing to give love and affection towards people around us day by day, then life is worth living for.

Previous: The Barrier Stone on The Street

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Two Good Videos for Visualization

I have found two good videos for visualization. Enjoy it...


The Secret - Planet Earth

Some people like to talk about how ugly this world has become. But it's all about the perspective you take. What you CHOOSE to see, to focus on. Take a walk in nature, look around, listen to the sounds. You'll be reminded of how incredible Planet Earth is (or can be again). Thank you Mother Earth.

Here is Planet Earth - our home.

This clip can be downloaded at http://www.thesecret.tv/planet-earth/


The Secret to You

I never thought its so easy to be happy, to fell how I want to feel, to do what I want to do. But this video makes me realize that everything around us rightly gives us happiness depends on our perspective to the meaning of the real happiness. If our mind determines that happiness is easy to get, then we'll easy to get happiness from around us. On the contrary, if we feel that happiness is something we seldom find, then happiness can be far away from around us.

This clip can be downloaded at http://www.thesecret.tv/secret-to-you/

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The Barrier Stone on The Street

"Behind all the barrier stones, there's a hidden wisdom and lesson to develop ourselves. Start having bravery to face every barrier stone."

Once upon a time, there's a clever and wise king who intend to test his people's diligence and care in a unique way. At one evening, the king silently put a big stone in the middle of a street which usually used by his people, so that it wasn't nice looking and blocking people's way around. Evidently, the king wanted to see his people's reaction to such a disturbance on the street.

Afterward, a farmer passed by with his heavy carts loading lots of stuff. Suddenly, he saw the barrier stone, then he grumbled, "What lazy people we have here..., a big dangerous and barrier stone is not moved out of the street". While grumbling, he avoided that particular stone and kept on moving.

After that, a soldier passed by while singing a victorious song remembering his bravery on the battlefield. Because of his excitement, he wasn't walking carefully so that he tripped over the barrier stone. "Darn...! Why people who pass this street wasn't move the stone!" This soldier kept on swearing while swinging his sword around. But he didn't do anything though he was grumbling and complaining. Contrarily, he just walked away.

Not so long later, a young poor man passed by the street. When seeing the barrier stone, he said to himself, "The sky is getting dark, if people not careful enough to pass this street, they'll surely trip over this stone." Although he was tired because of working hard entire day, this young man was still willing to move the barrier stone away from the middle of the street.

After the barrier stone successfully moved out, this young man was so surprised to see a letter and a box under the stone he had just moved. The letter said, "To my people who are willing to move this barrier stone. You have shown your diligence and care towards others, please take the 5 gold coins in the box as the gift from your king."

Immediately, this young poor man bowed down his head to thank his king for his generosity. The story spread out into the whole country. The king had been successful in teaching the importance meaning of diligence and care towards others.


Dear readers, Whether it is in business, career or our professional job, we surely have faced "the barrier stone" as told above. It can mean difficulties, obstacles, responsibilities, or burdens. If we face all the above-mentioned problems angrily, impatiently, or blame others as problem makers, we can't learn much from life. In fact, in all obstacles, there's a hidden wisdom and lesson to develop ourselves. Of course, we need such a mentality that the young poor man had to reach success; kept on trying when facing obstacles, having care towards others' need, toughness to hold burden, dare to bear a big responsibility. If we have these kind of mentality, a big opportunity is lurking around every barrier stone that obstruct our progress.

Next: When The Love Shows Its Power
Previous: A Bar of Iron Can be Turned into A Needle

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